What do you need?

At the retreat (which I’ll talk about for the rest of my life please and thank you) I learnt something very heartwarming about myself. I’m very clear about my needs and I’m not afraid to ask for exactly what I want.

It started with something as simple as explaining how so deeply cold I felt and therefore wanted to sit next to the fire. No one seemed as cold as I was so they gladly obliged me. We had to be up and ready for yoga by 6:30am. After one particularly exhausting day I asked if I could skip yoga the next day cos I wanted to sleep in. I didn’t get a “yes” and neither did I get a “no”. All I know is I woke up the next morning to find everyone gone for yoga. They let me sleep in!

On our 5th day I was craving a fried egg. We were on a strict vegan diet so eggs weren’t part of the menu. I asked why I couldn’t have an egg and they explained to me it was the protein we were avoiding. A few mins later the guy in charge of the menu came back to me and said, “you know what, one egg won’t hurt. If you can find it you can have it.” I went straight to the owner of the farm to ask for just one egg. That will forever be the most delicious fried egg I’ve ever had!

Someone called me “very demanding”. I responded immediately to tell them that all I ever did was ask for exactly what I wanted and the people I asked always had the option to say “no” and “no” ain’t never killed nobody.

I took that very personally but then upon introspection I realized that statement had absolutely nothing to do with me. There are people who are genuinely afraid to ask for what they really want. I am not one of those. I don’t just ask for what I want but I also ask people questions that lead me to the truth of their lives, respecting boundaries of course. I have no time in my already short life to ever waste time assuming things about people when I could, you know, just ask them. So I ALWAYS ask!

That’s honestly one of my favorite things about myself. The courage to dare to ask for what I really, really want all the damn time! I ask God and the universe the same. I’m always specific in my requests cos I’m always clear about my needs.

During the retreat I learnt that learning one’s needs and being able to name them could serve as a guiding light through life. For example, I know some of my most important needs are warmth, love and acceptance. Whatever I choose to give my time to should be meeting a need of mine. That makes saying no to anything that doesn’t meet any of my needs so much easier!

I love myself and I am so damn proud of myself! In a world that’s always whispering a little too loudly that we should be as small and accommodating as possible I’m glad my voice remains louder. I have every right to be on this earth and because of that I will ALWAYS dare to ask for what I really, really want. Truly, the worst that could happen is I get a “no”. “No”, really is not the end of the world.

I’m so thankful for this life that I get to call mine and the clarity of mind to know my needs by name. There’s no magic or science behind how I choose what to say yes or no to and what I choose to ask. I am really just choosing things that meet my needs. Amen. 😆