To my son, Ry.
My sweet baby, the one who made me a mom. I never thought being a mom was on my cards. I didn’t want to be one. But then your daddy suddenly died and I had to reimagine my future. The future I had envisioned could only be with your daddy here. Without him, I had to come up with a new vision. I didn’t know then that my brand new future had you in it. My imagination could not stretch wide enough to include you.
And then I met you.
It really was love at first sight with you. I didn’t come in looking for a dog that day. I was there for a cat. But there was no cat I could connect with so I thought to check out the small doggies for my nieces’ sake. I was casually walking as they told us about all you little doggies at the shelter. And then I saw you. And something happened in me. We locked eyes and I just knew you were mine.
We went all the way to the last small doggy kennel and I declared that I had seen my baby. They brought you out to the pet and play area so we could interact. The pull towards you just grew stronger. I completed your adoption forms that day.
On the way back home I was SO excited I almost caused an accident cos I didn’t realize the part of the road I was on had come to an end. It merged with the other lane and I was obsessively thinking about you that I momentarily forgot I was on the road.
Anyway, THAT’s exactly how I imagined adopting a pet would be. I had to feel something in my heart not pick you based on looks. I felt a love so strong for you that I was absolutely certain we belonged together. I have loved you from the very first day, my sweet.
You came and quietly rearranged my priorities. I used to put in such long hours at work without giving it much thought. Then the first time I watched you sleep in the study all day until midnight cos I was still working, I knew something had to change. I’ve been wanting to leave this job since that night. No job is worth you spending all day way into the night in the study.
I love you. And your happiness is truly my priority. I started pulling back from work to spend more time with you. I absolutely enjoy spending time with you! Sometimes I wake you up when you’re sleeping comfortably to put you on my chest. The world could not feel any more right than when you are on my chest. I live for that feeling! There is just nothing like it.
We used to sleep together on my bed until those two accidents we had. You were so sick you just peed on my bed. I’m so sorry you’ve been that sick. I have strong suspicions your old hoomans gave you up cos you were sick. But you know what? None of that matters now. We’ve got each other and I’ll do everything in my power to keep you safe, happy and healthy! ❤️ I’m slowly easing you back into my bed and I love that for us! I have missed you next to me!
Of late you’ve started coming back from boarding with a runny tummy. After the third time I decided you were never going back to that boarding. Your health and safety come first to me. You will be going to a new daycare and boarding from next week and I really hope it works out. I really want you to always be happy.
Perhaps the best thing about you is that you live in the moment. It doesn’t matter what anyone did to you in the past. You are here now and that is all that matters. I am learning how to stay present from you.
I love you so much my baby. Hopefully not more than you’ll ever know cos I want you to know how much I love you right here, right now. You are the centre of my universe. Everything I do is so you can have the best life! Loving you has brought me immeasurable joy. Loving you has taught me what it means to put myself first. I no longer have patience for spaces that don’t prioritize my joy.
You are joy personified, my sweet. I love you so much. When daddy died I never imagined I could love with the same intensity ever again. And yet, here you are. My heart beats for you the same way it beat for your daddy. You are healing my heart so effortlessly. I consider myself so lucky we found each other. I love you more than words could ever say and I am so glad we have each other!
