Psychiatric meds are not crack.

I wrote my most read post about my struggle with depression. Amazing story, right? I mean, Sanele beat that monster! What a hero.

It is 01 July 2020 today and I am no longer just taking meds for anxiety but for depression as well. Life is so unpredictable. As I always say, life will life. Life, lifed. I went back on anxiety meds in Feb and antidepressants in March. And my psychiatrist upped my dose this Monday.

I am sharing this for anyone who may feel like a failure for having to “depend” on meds just to cope with life. There’s no formula to this thing, no life hack whatsoever. You just take what it gives you. So, this is my crutch. This is how I am dealing with life happening to me.

So many people refuse to go on medication that could save their lives. I am a functional human being because of my medication. Taking psychiatric mediation is not a life sentence.

I was really off meds completely until Feb this year. And I will take them shamelessly for as long as I need to. For me, taking my medication and going for therapy every single f’n week is part of my self-care. That is how I take care of ME.

Picture this, you’re drowning in an ocean and someone on a boat throws you a life jacket. You refuse the life jacket because “omg I don’t want to have to depend on this life jacket for the rest of my life”. But you’re drowning NOW! Medication is a life jacket. A crutch. You take it for as long as you need it. You won’t need it for all your life if you do the actual hard work of finding healing. No psychiatrist or psychologist can save you. Only you can save you.

So, will you take the life jacket while you try and swim to the shore or you’d rather drown?

I swear I am not addicted to my antidepressants. That thought alone is hilarious to me. I just know I function better when I take them. And guess what, I want to function better. When it feels like my head is falling apart, they hold it together. And guess what? I like my head held together please and thank you.

Benzodiazepines are the ones to watch out for because they are addictive. But antidepressants? Nope. Also, if one antidepressant does not work for you, you are allowed to try a different one. Same with therapists. If you don’t click, move on. My current therapist was the 6th one I ever went to. And we did not immediately click because I did not want to go for therapy. I just went because my psychiatrist told me to. However, she was SO patient with me until I started showing up 30 mins early for our appointments because I just couldn’t wait to see her and just talk! I’ve been with her for 4yrs now.

I learnt that therapy isn’t just something you seek when something bad happens. You really can just go for therapy for your own personal growth. If you wait until you NEED one, you waited for too long. But better late than never.

I want all of us well and happy however that looks like for you. But if you have to choose, save yourself first.

Niphile.