My teddy bear.
Yesterday I tried the EFT Tapping method as recommended by someone and OMG. What voodoo magic is that?! I’ve taken part in 5th Place’s ‘Shape of emotion’ guided meditation sessions so I was familiar with the concept of tapping points and Shape of emotion has touch points. But someone please explain to me how both these work?! I’m blown away.
I cried SO hard as I talked about my grief while tapping. The tears felt like a release. It was cathartic. Then I moved to my positive feelings or things I was hoping for. For the first time I thought and believed that I could actually heal from this loss. Not that I’d ever forget my boyfriend but I would be able to move forward and even fall in love again.
Love is such a beautiful thing. What my angel and I shared was nothing short of magic. And love cannot die. I felt and I still feel like I’ve got that love. The love that burned so brightly between my angel and I still lives in me. It did not die with him. What a powerful realization. I lost my love but I didn’t lose our love. It will be with me until the end of time. Even then it will carry on living without us.
Wow. I feel so warm and fuzzy just thinking about it. The love we shared cannot be destroyed or taken away from me. It is true today as it was when my angel lived. We are bound together forever in love. We are lovers forever.
I feel SO incredibly blessed to have been a part of that.
While tapping I had to make peace with that I will never, ever, (ever!) see him again. I realized that I was scared no one would ever love me or understand me the way he did. I felt incredibly lonely without him. There is power in calling our feelings by name.
I said out loud that I miss him terribly and comforted myself with the love we shared that still lives in my heart. Tapping worked some magic in me. I don’t know how it works but it worked wonders for me. I intend to keep doing to heal my grief.
The pain I feel is equivalent to the love I held for him. It was a deep, deep love. I am proud of myself for loving so intensely and so fearlessly. I gave my love my all. I get to be rewarded by having to keep the love forever. What. a. gift!!
Man, I miss my boyfriend. But now I remember him with love and not with sadness. I love how he always managed to walk out with blue shirts and grey pants each time he went shopping for work clothes. He’d tell me he went shopping on the few occasions we didn’t go together and I’d ask him to send me a pic of his grey pants and blue shirts. 😂😂
I miss how he’d say, “you think I’m your doll!” each time I tried to tell him which clothes to buy. I miss his cuddles and his warmth. I miss his gentleness and softness. Today I remember him fondly. I bought myself two men’s shirts cos I thought they’d look so good on him. I miss the laughter and bad jokes between us. I miss him telling me I choose boring movies but watching three in a row with me.
I miss how we stayed in bed when the weather was bad. I miss how I corrected his spelling and grammar and he corrected my pronunciation. I miss talking to him in my mother tongue and him getting annoyed cos he couldn’t understand. I miss how he just seemed to GET me! He made it seem like he had a manual to me. I miss my boyfriend but today I remember him fondly.
My sweet, sweet teddy bear who’d never hurt a fly. ♥️