Miss Now

Today I got a rejection letter to something I’d applied for. I wasn’t crushed by the rejection. I’m still employed full-time so it’s not like I have nothing to do with my time. But the letter made me wonder why I even wanted that thing NOW.

My boyfriend (we all know his late by now so go with me) used to call me Miss Now cos he said I wanted everything NOW. Today I heard his voice in my head gently asking me, “does it have to be NOW?”

No, it doesn’t. I loved with a sense of urgency but I don’t want to go through life with a sense of urgency. There is so much to be savored when you take things slowly.

I realized that when I slow down I am able to be fully present in the moment. When I slow down I have time to stop and play with my nieces. They are my joy those two. Hearing them laugh brings my heart so much joy.

If I rushed through my life I would miss out on the beauty of the time I spend with my nieces whenever I can. My nieces crack up at the silliest things. And I’m only able to catch that when I slow down and just be with them.

I’m glad my boyfriend hasn’t left me. At random moments I hear his voice in my head. And I need to slow down to be able to hear it.

Inhale. Exhale. Slow down. Find your centre. It doesn’t have to be NOW. It will be when it will be.