I’m not over it

It’s been 2 months and some change since my angel left us. Conversations have moved on to other things. Life, you know. There’s always a lot going on. And life is carrying on. But I’m not over my angel’s passing. The pain still consumes me.

I was telling my therapist how I feel like I’m carrying this heavy thing inside of me. Pain so big it makes me feel so small. But the world has moved on. Surely I must be over it by now. I still can’t be stuck on 26 April, 2021. But I am.

I miss my boyfriend. I want to talk about him every day and the pain of losing him that is not going away. I do feel like sometimes I try to run away from it but wherever I am, there it is too.

I think about him every day. I think of how he left this world often. It hurts. It hurts so bad. I’m most certainly not over it. And won’t be for a while.