I’m alive!

I had a good writing streak where I was writing just about every day. And then bam, silence! Somehow I couldn’t get to writing again and that was a major red flag for me. I stop writing when I’m stressed. 2020 has been long hey.

Anyway, last week my boyfriend and I drove down to Durban for a much needed break from everything. Life is not a movie hey. I was depleted and I was committed to learning how to rest and relax again. You’d think resting would be the easiest part! Well, not for this girl.

We were gone for a full week. First two days of our stay my dreams were too vivid. I had carried all my stress together with my luggage. Only difference was I was now stressing with a view. Lol

I had my therapy session on Tuesday via FaceTime and I told my therapist of the dreams I was having. We talked through them because dreams aren’t always literal. Mine were communicating extreme anxiety to my conscious self.

The thing with dreams is whatever you spend your waking hours shoving to the back of your mind will inevitably show itself while you sleep cos who can control their subconscious mind while they are asleep? Nobody that’s who! So if you’re having HD high action movies for dreams it’s time to do a personal inventory of what it is you’re avoiding talking about or just refusing to acknowledge in your waking hours.

Anyway, I also opened up to my boyfriend about the stuff I was worrying about that was fueling those dreams. That night I had probably the calmest dream I’ve had all year. I also stopped all psychiatric medication while we were away.

We watched so many movies I lost count! I’m not one for movies but I was committed to learning how to rest so mindless movies? Yes, yes please! I enjoy going on holiday with him cos I hate doing 2 million activities that leave you feeling more tired after the vacation than you were before. So movies on the couch and the beach?! Win!

I managed to start reading and finish a book as well. Reading and/or writing by the beach is my most-best-favorite thing to do in life! So I read on the beach only. A few hours a day and bam! I finished the book! That made my heart SO happy! Before then, I hadn’t been able to finish a single book all year. 2020, one for the books I tell you!

Anyway, when I got back home I was met with the most pleasant surprise I almost cried! My flowers bloomed! All the pics I’ve been sharing are of my plants which seem to have risen up to meet me high up here when I found my joy again! What a pleasant surprise! It’s good to be back home! I’m relaxed, refreshed and most importantly? Happy!

Ngiyaz’bongela.