I was blind but now I see…

I don’t know what happened, when it happened or how it happened. But it happened. It was my therapist who first pointed out that I was now “seeing”.

I recently got a new pair of glasses. Which I do every year, but this time it was crystal clear in my head that I wanted a green pair of glasses. I got my most indulgent glasses ever since I started wearing glasses in the green I pictured in my head.

My mother has green fingers. So home is filled with A LOT of plants, flowers and trees. That’s how my momma’s been my whole life. EVERYWHERE she’s lived she’d always plant something. When I call her early in the morning she tells me she’s been outside talking to her plants. And she exclaims, “they are SO green! There is life!” And that is how I began to associate green with life.

So I was retelling that same story to my therapist and she said, “Sanele, look around.” I looked around. My therapist’s office walls are green. The couch we (her patients) sit on is green. The cushions, her logo. My God. I’d been going there for four years and I never (not even once) noticed the green!

So she told me something had come alive in me that’s why I was starting to SEE things.

I mean. I still don’t know how to explain any of this but all I know is I’m really starting to notice things now. Synchronizations, serendipity, grace. I see it all!

I love whatever the fuck is happening inside of Sanele right now. I even bought my first two plants! 🥺🥺

Ah. I’m gonna be still and take all of this in. 💚 My best days are ahead of me.