I am not alone.

Over this past (glorious) weekend we were all sleeping by the fire place all 4 of us snuggled up nicely. My boyfriend and I had this thing of searching for each other’s hands in our sleep and we’d grab hold of each other once our hands found each other. It was just something we did. Our hands always found each other.

Apparently on Saturday night while fast asleep my hand started searching. They had never witnessed it but I’d told them about it. One of the twin aunties grabbed hold of my hand and I carried on sleeping. I keep thinking of that tiny incident and smiling each time when I think of it cos I feel seen. So seen.

One of the most amazing things I’ve witnessed since the passing of my angel is just how much love I am surrounded by. It feels like my life is the dark sky of the night and all my people are the stars shining so effortlessly.

In my language we say “lingadinwa lak’sasa” which loosely translated means “May you never tire of doing good”. That’s all I have to say to my people. Lingadinwa lak’sasa. I’m so surrounded by love it blows my mind. My angel’s love multiplied. In a previous post I remember writing that we loved like we were not confined in our bodies. He is no longer confined in his body and so his love is roaming freely now. Wild and free. Like the ocean.

I am so grateful for all of this and more. So so grateful. My healing journey is filled with so much grace and ease. I am not alone. I feel this pain only in a way I can but I’m being held with so much love and care.