Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust.

I have been thinking about that saying, “Ashes to ashes and dust to dust…” all day. I always thought it was a line from scripture. Turns out it isn’t.

Anyway. Today we scattered my angel’s ashes. And I saw with my own eyes what ashes to ashes and dust to dust means.

We ALL return to the earth somehow. Honestly my boyfriend’s ashes have helped me understand a lot about life and death and who we are as people.

Firstly, we are NOT our bodies. That’s right. We are not. I believe my boyfriend’s soul continues to exist cos I feel his presence so heavily sometimes. But then I’ve also had his ashes in my bedroom for a while. So my feeling his presence while also in possession of the remnants of his physical body helped me understand that who we are is bigger and more deeper than our bodies.

Our bodies will be sent back to the earth. Not for preservation but so they can literally turn to dust and return to the earth. Can you believe that?! Do you get that?! These bodies we treat like gods will someday form a part of the earth.

I find that truly humbling. It’s given me a new appreciation for the ground. Also my yoga practice has helped me form a better relationship with the ground and the earth by extension.

Someday I will return to the earth. I am made of what it is made of. Someday my body will decompose and disappear into the earth. The earth and I will be one.

Wow. So humbling. So poetic.

I’m writing this in Mozambique where we came to scatter my angel’s ashes as per his wishes. I was responsible for planning this trip as I’m the only one among my friends, my family and his family who knew the place my love wanted his body to be sent to.

I am so humbled that his family honoured every single wish of his. Every single one. To the t!

It’s such a beautiful place and I think it’s SO poetic that his body is now one with the sea. No longer is he contained in his body. He is now EVERYWHERE! Literally everywhere!

Also having his ashes scattered in the ocean has given me a new appreciation for the ocean. I’ve always loved it but now I feel like every time I touch the ocean I am touching a piece of my love. He is here, there, EVERYWHERE!!

I cried so hard at the scattering but the tears were also a release. I released him out to the world. He is free now. Boundless with the sea. Oh my love!! I feel like everything about this is SO like him!

It is SO like him to want his remains poured into the sea. To be one with the water. Oh my heart. I can’t handle the poetry of it all. It is SO poetic omg! I’m truly tickled. Well done, Tshego, well done!!

It is also SO like him to give him family a holiday as his parting gift. His family is here for the first time. All because of their son/brother’s last wishes. That’s so beautiful.

They love this place and everytime they think of it they will remember that they came here because of him. I’m telling you this is SO like Tshego! He always wanted good things for his loved ones. Always.

It’s been a bittersweet day. Scattering the ashes and also being here with two of my closest friends and his family. What a honour. What a privilege it is to have been loved by such a man!

I am so grateful!! Fly with the angels now, my love. I love you forever! And thank you for this holiday. Oh I forgot to mention that while my platonic wife and I were having dinner we got a free room upgrade from the owner of the lodge we are staying at.

Truly magical!

We threw dried rose petals after the scattering. So beautiful. So poetic. So fitting for my angel man!!

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. For all of this magic and more.

To new beginnings! (I really feel like scattering ashes closes one chapter and opens a new one.)